Seven secrets to being irresistible
When you walk into a room full of strangers what is that energy that makes some people stand out more than others? It's not money, or looks, or education. These people are the ones you trust, the ones you want to spend time with, and the ones who make you laugh or smile or push your boundaries. You feel like the best version of you when you are with them.How do you get some of what they have?
1. Have self-confidence that radiates from within
Self-knowledge is the key to self-confidence. When you understand what your unique characteristics are, what your chosen beliefs are and how your physical, emotional and spiritual health all connect, you are more well-equipped to navigate relationships with others. This confidence allows you comfort in your own skin which is very attractive to others.
2. Don't assume that everyone is just like you
The golden rule is the one that tells us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us- or something like that. The problem with the golden rule is that has us assume that others are the same as us when in fact we are all unique and different. Irresistible people operate on The Platinum Rule—treat others as they want to be treated—this corrects that flaw and shows the other person that you "get them" making them feel seen, heard, and valued.
3. Treat everyone with kindness and respect
How one treats people who can do nothing for them is a strong indicator of character. Watch how your friends and colleagues treat janitors, servers, and doormen if you want to see their true colors. Truly captivating personalities aren't just trying to impress those who can help them get ahead in life, they are looking for opportunities to connect, to serve, and to make an impact in every social interaction.
4. Don't think everyone has to like you
People who try too hard to be liked are actually less attractive. Why? Others sense when you are being less authentic in order to gain their friendship. When you are trying too hard to be likeable it comes across as needy or pushy. This energy is hugely off-putting to people who are confident and authentic.
5. Have an opinion based on fact
Impressive people know how to hold conversations about global warming, politics, and tech startups as well as fine wine, meditation, and travel but they don't behave as though they are experts on any topic unless they truly are. They speak about fact and are clear when offering an opinion but most importantly they understand that opinion and fact are not the same things. They listen and learn and are willing to change their opinion based on facts they learn from others.
6. Be authentic
Authentic people know that they are in control of their reactions to any stimulus. They understand that other people don't have power over their emotions. They take ownership of their strengths and of their weaknesses which makes them powerfully attractive in a world where most prefer to blame others and hide their true feelings behind a wall.
7. Don't live in the past, stay present with big goals for the future.
People who share lofty goals and exciting dreams are magnetic. We want some of what they are doing and their enthusiasm is contagious. People who dredge up the past, whether it's complaining about that one annoyingly cheap family member or celebrating the highlights of their varsity soccer career twenty years later, have little ability to engage with others in the moment because they aren't being present.
Tweet: If you want to live a memorable life, you have to be the kind of person who remembers to remember. Joshua Foer
I'd love to hear what you do to be memorable in the comments. Know someone who is truly irresistible, tag them and share why.